This is a common sentence many of us with mental illnesses get told.
“Just focus on something else.”
“There’s so much good in the world, stop focusing on the bad.”
You don’t think I have tried? For much of my life I have dealt with anxiety and depression.2 This means almost all the time I am either over-catastrophizing, staying on alert for the next bad thing that could happen, overanalyzing every mistake I’ve made, and after all that, getting stuck in a head space that constantly tells me I’m not good enough and never will be. This head space in the past has often led me to periods of self-harm and suicidal thoughts that never get acted upon but are always there in the back of my mind.
This never stops.
When a person tells me, “stop being so negative” it feels like a slap to the face. Basically you’re saying, “You can turn it off, you can choose to focus on something else.” While I may have times where I can put my focus into my friendships, my job, my school life and my hobbies, these things are also stressors and end up leading me back to depression and anxiety. Regardless how many good periods of time I have, depression and anxiety are always going to be there.
So next time you see a person or are talking with them and they are having a difficult time with their depression and anxiety and seem to be focused on the negative, don’t just say, “Stop focusing on the negative,” but instead, maybe ask what you can do to help. If they tell you there is nothing you can do, ask what the negative emotions are focused on? You may want to suggest helpful distractions or ways of coping. The statement “stop being so negative” just makes them feel bad for the depression and anxiety, and that’s honestly the last thing they need or want to hear. You may want to suggest they contact one of the practitioners at Rediscover Yourself to learn of a very successful drug free approach in dealing with these emotional problems. Have them visit our website www.rediscoveryourselfint.com and read some of the testimonials written by others who were having similar experiences. We are here to help you get the relief you have been searching for.
There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things ‘in order,’ she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.
She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.
Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.
‘There’s one more thing,’ she said excitedly..
‘What’s that?’ came the Pastor’s reply.
‘This is very important,’ the young woman continued. ‘I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.’
The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.
That surprises you, doesn’t it?’ the young woman asked.
‘Well, to be honest, I’m puzzled by the request,’ said the Pastor.
The young woman explained. ‘My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, ‘Keep your fork.’ It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming…like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!’
So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder ‘What’s with the fork?’ Then I want you to tell them: ‘Keep your fork ..the best is yet to come.’
The Pastor’s eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.
At the funeral people were walking by the young woman’s casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, ‘What’s with the fork?’ And over and over he smiled.
During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.
He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come. Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share.Being friends with someone is not an opportunity, but a sweet responsibility.
Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND…and I’ll bet this will be an Email they do remember, every time they pick up a fork!
And just remember…keep your fork!
Tuesday July 28th we will be at Joannes Stadium for The Green Bay Bullfrogs Game! We will have a table set up with more information about what Rediscover Yourself Sound Therapy is and how it can affect your life. Please stop by and see us and take in a ball game!
We will be there at 5 and the game starts at 7:05
Hope to see you there, put your business card in for the chance to win a FREE treatment. A $60.00 value
Please take a moment to watch this video and leave us a comment on your thoughts.
10 Weird Ways Your Body Reacts To Stress
Your brain short-circuits
High stress situations—you know, like that work presentation tomorrow—can trigger the release of adrenaline and other fight-or-flight hormones. While those chemicals heighten your brain’s alertness and threat-detection centers (which can be good), they temporarily kneecap your noodle’s cortical networks, which are responsible for contemplation, critical thinking and planning, explains Erno Hermans, Ph.D., of Radboud University in the Netherlands. That happens because your body is conserving energy for a physical confrontation (which, hopefully, won’t occur), Hermans adds. The result: You struggle to find the right words, and you look like a nervous nelly in front of your boss and colleagues.
You suddenly have to excuse yourself
Stress triggers the release of another fight-or-flight chemical known as corticotropin-releasing factor (CRF) that messes with your intestinal function, shows a study from the Digestive Diseases Research Center in Los Angeles. Just as animals dump waste during a confrontation, your fight-or-flight response may be helping you jettison excess weight in case you need to flee. Consequently, some people under intense pressure develop diarrhea, the study indicates.
You break out
Elevated levels of the stress hormone cortisol tell your skin’s sebaceous glands, which secrete an anti-inflammatory waxy oil, to kick into overdrive, leading to temporary bursts of acne, flushing, eczema or other weekend-ruining skin conditions, explains Flor A. Mayoral, M.D., a dermatologist at the University of Miami’s Miller School of Medicine.
You can’t quite kick that cold
When you catch a virus, all the nasty symptoms you experience (like a runny nose, a cough or body aches) are the result of your immune system’s inflammation response to the bug. Stress causes an uptick in your inflammation levels, which means your body reacts more severely to cold viruses, shows a study from Carnegie Mellon University. Your cold symptoms may last longer too, the study suggests.
Your hair falls out
Days or weeks of heightened tension can cause you to shed hair like a golden retriever in summer, Mayoral says. That hair loss can last for up to three months after a stressful event or period, though your mane will typically grow back after your stress subsides, she adds. It’s possible that elevated levels of stress-induced inflammation are to blame, research from the American Academy of Dermatology suggests.
Your brain shrinks
Not to be dramatic, but stress flips off a genetic switch that would normally spur your brain to produce new synapses, which allow your brain cells to communicate with one another, shows research from Yale. As a result, your noggin’s “gray matter” volume falls over time. Gray matter is at least partially involved in your emotion regulation, the study authors say. And there’s evidence linking this type of brain shrinkage with higher rates of depression, they add.
Your nails look funky
While stress hormones can make your nails brittle, Mayoral also sees ugly, raised ridges in the middle of her stressed-out patients’ nails. Why? Like cracking knuckles or chewing the ends of hair, another way people fidget is to press their fingertips down on the edges of their thumbnails. Over time, that can cause an unsightly, lumpy ridge to form in the center of the nail, Mayoral explains.
Your ears ring
One study from Sweden’s Karolinska Institute found the stress of having to change jobs increased ringing and other hearing problems among women by 43 percent. FMRI scans have shown the limbic region of your brain shifts into overdrive when you experience ear ringing, and that part of the brain is also known to handle aspects of stress regulation. The study authors say this limbic activity could explain why tension and hearing issues are connected, though they can’t yet point to a specific mechanism at work.
Your cuts and scrapes just won’t heal
Your body’s stress response draws water away from your skin’s outer layers, possibly as a way to keep you hydrated in an emergency situation, which undermines your skin’s ability to regenerate and repair itself, shows research published in JAMA Dermatology. Compared to their calm cohorts, students who were frazzled from winter midterms showed more redness and irritation on their forearm skin after the (sadistic) researchers slapped on and removed cellophane tape.
Your stomach aches
Stress chemicals can mess with your gastrointestinal tract, leading to an angry belly or the urge to vomit, shows research from UCLA. While the ways your brain and gut interact under stress are murky, it’s possible the fight-or-flight chemicals your body releases when you’re frazzled cause your digestive system to hold onto calories and other energy sources, which could explain your cranky stomach, the research suggests.